Tag: news
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Mariners Click Wrong Button, Try to Fix Before Anyone Notices
Three days after claiming catcher Jacob Nottingham off of waivers from the Milwaukee Brewers, the Mariners have thrown this fish back into the pond. Turns out they never wanted him at all — his acquisition was the result of a simple mistake with the computer mouse on the part of GM Jerry Dipoto. When the…
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James Paxton is Back, Which Means I Can Finally Look at a Maple Bar Without Crying Again
Finally. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been, any time I go into [well-known local donut establishment] and see those big, beautiful, brownish glazed pastries staring back at me? I think to myself, wow that is a big maple b— big maple? BIG MAPLE!!! I erupt in sobs and crumple to the floor.…
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John Stanton Offered Complimentary Dessert at Restaurant, Politely Declines
A trusted Trident Deck source has confirmed that on a recent trip to Red Robin, Mariners majority owner John Stanton was also there with his family, seated in the VIP section next to the giant Red Robin mascot statue. Now, I know you’re wondering why in the world someone of Mr. Stanton’s status would be…
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Swab the Deck 7.27.20
I thought we just cleaned this thing? In True Florida Fashion, Marlins Looking to Start an Outbreak https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/mlb-has-covid-19-concerns-on-opening-weekend-marlins-alter-travel-schedule/ The Marlins starter was a late scratch on Sunday, and then we found out there were multiple positives. We should always be asking ourselves why a professional baseball team is allowed to operate in Florida, but now…
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Mariners Sign Brian Shaw
In a shortened season where anything can happen, the Mariners are taking what some see as a risk in a move to *literally* strengthen their bullpen. According the reports, the team will be signing strongman Brian Shaw. The details of the deal are not yet known, but here’s what we know about Shaw: His nickname…
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Swab the Deck 7.20.20
Grab a mop, Sailor. This thing is filthy. Blue Jays Considering Nomadic Lifestyle https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/29496262/blue-jays-anthony-bass-says-team-looking-major-league-park After the Canadian government said “thanks, but no thanks” to the home country Jays playing in Toronto, the team is flying aimlessly in search of a place to play. They’d prefer a Major League park, apparently. I’d prefer to not have…
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Swab the Deck Vol. 1: 7/13/20
We’ve got a lot of grime to clean up from this week in Major League Baseball, so let’s get to it. MLB Releases the Adjusted 2020 Schedule https://www.mlb.com/amp/news/mlb-announces-2020-regular-season.html Fans around the league were ecstatic to see another visual representation of the disaster that currently surrounds them, in the form of a severely truncated schedule. Nothing…
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