We’ve got a lot of grime to clean up from this week in Major League Baseball, so let’s get to it.
MLB Releases the Adjusted 2020 Schedule
Fans around the league were ecstatic to see another visual representation of the disaster that currently surrounds them, in the form of a severely truncated schedule. Nothing beats the excitement of a passionate discussion in the group chat with all your buddies about which third of the season your star player might be able to play, if the season makes it that far and he doesn’t opt out. Sports!
Buffalo Blue Jays?
The Toronto Blue Jays appear to be mulling over the idea of climbing into the burning building with their brethren to the south. Not to rescue them, mind you, just to burn with them like a couple of “this is fine” dogs.
Thirteen Players Appear to Have Newly Contracted that Disease Thing Everyone is Talking About
Well, shoot. You mean to tell me this thing can spread through the ranks in America’s pastime? Is there no decency or respect in virus culture? This better not be an issue all season long, you pesky virus. We earned the right to enjoy this season without you. Okay we did not earn it but we want it really bad.
Ten Players Opt Out of Season So Far, Many More Fans and Writers Opt in to Bad Takes
I know you’re mad that your boss won’t let you opt out of those Excel spreadsheets due to COVID-19 concerns, but that’s no reason to lash out at Buster Posey for wanting to protect his newly adopted babies, Chad.
Some Players are Pretty Good at Practice Baseball
Gerrit Cole, Nolan Arenado, and Seattle’s own Kyle Lewis to name a few.
Three likely Hall of Famers, right there.
See you next week, and don’t forget to bring a mop this time.