Category: Uncategorized
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Well, it’s Groundhog Day…Again
Rob Manfred woke up this morning, as he has every morning for the last…..who knows, really? He grabbed his cold milk with a splash of warm coffee, took a seat in his ergonomic chair in front of his comically large desk, and got to work. Well, he calls it work. It is something. But it’s…
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What Remains of The Hot Stove Part 1 of IDK
So it seems the contingent of 30 Large Wet And Self Important Adults who own Major League Baseball teams have decided the equilibrium price for labor has climbed too high for SuperDuperUltraWineClubOnLittleSaintJames membership, and have taken their hair plugs and gone home until the baseballguyrabble is pacified. For me, this is a bummer! Secretly I…
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Checking in on Rob Manfred’s Progress with his “Top Five Priorities”
When Rob Manfred was selected to succeed Bud Selig as the new commissioner of Major League Baseball in 2015, he stated that there were five priorities that would be the central focus of his tenure in the position. Given that the league he supposedly oversees for the good of all involved is stuck in an…
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Opinion: Ants Aggressively Biting Child After Their Home Got Destroyed is a Bad Look
On Wednesday afternoon an 11 year old boy in Tucson, AZ walked outside after his grandma said he could not play Nintendo Switch for a seventh straight hour, and looked for something to assert dominance over in order to help his tiny boy brain cope with his lack of control. He found his target in…
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How to Avoid Getting Duped This Hot-Stove Season
Sailor, it’s the offseason. Move-making season. Get-good-players season. And you know what that means: it’s also fake account season. Rumors and news will be flying all over the place, and a lot of it will be more phony than Ellen Degeneres. The last thing anyone wants is to log on to the World Wide Web…
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BREAKING: Baseball Embraces The Bold Future! Bazinga!
Announced Thursday, the professional sports league formerly known as Major League Baseball will now be known as Major League Baseball Presented By BazingaBuxxxACurrencyForANewGeneration (MLBazingaBuxxx). Sources say that the final sticking point for BazingaBuxxx(A Currency For A New Generation) was the abbreviation shifting from MLB to MLBazingaBuxxx and insertion of “Buxxx” replacing “Flag” in the National…
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We Have Players At Home: Self Scouting The 2021 Mariners Of Note
Howdy Deckies! Seen a lot of coveting thy neighbors dudes ‘round these pixelated parts and thought, hey, why not go in the opposite direction. With the impending “The Imminently Forgettable 1% Take Their Ball And Go Home,” looking to put a kibosh on those tasty, tasty yellow hot stove onions, it’s time to Take A…
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Final Dude Watch Board of 2021
While the Dude Watch board updates were extremely irregular and altogether absent from the last couple months of the season (much to the dismay of some of you,) don’t doubt for a second that Dudes were still being tracked. Remember — the type of players you want on your team fall into tiers called guys,…
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Rays $/fWAR Championship Parade Draws 0.000012 Million Fans
An estimated (fractional) million fans jammed downtown Tampa (or St Pete, it’s not actually Tampa; we’re not sure) on Tuesday for a parade celebrating the Tampa Bay Rays sixth $/fWAR title, clamoring for more with cheers of “We want seven!”, “Pivot This, Oakland!” and “Next year, right here, or Montreal, I guess!” A fiscally responsible…
Trident Deck 