Tag: Mariners
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Grown Man Soils Himself on Live Television; Mariners Win on Opening Day
In a vulgar display late Thursday evening, an Ohio man named James Karinchak walked onto the pitcher’s mound at T-Mobile Park in downtown Seattle and proceeded to deposit an entire mess inside his drawers. To make matters worse, he did not appear to be wearing a diaper, as his pants were too tight. Unfortunately for…
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If not now, when? If not himbo, whomst? An Ode to Quads Unloosed
What centaur dareth venture west? What fitness maiden loth? What mad pursuit? What dingerly duty? What moose and timbrel? What wild taters mashed? Heard deals of dealing are so deals, the piping quartet beckons Are sweeter; therefore, ye big dongs, sock on; Not for the fair of the stomach, but placid of minded online, Bellow…
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Second Annual Trident Deck Wiffle Ball Home Run Derby
It’s been a weird, busy, mostly-blogless year for ol’ blog here, but I am relieved and excited that we are on track for our second annual charity derby! We are on short notice, something I hope to improve upon in the coming years, but there’s no reason we can’t still have a blast and raise…
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Thank You, Ichiro
Despite growing up in New Jersey, I have been a Mariners fan from day one. Whenever people ask me why my answer is always the same. My mom grew up in Washington, that side of the family still lives out there, and I was simply born into it. However, this past weekend in Seattle made…
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Road Trip Recap: Is Somebody Gonna Clean This Up?
I have a cat. I have never wanted to have a cat, but I do have one. He is a living consolation prize; a reminder of a time when my wife and I wanted a dog and lived in a dog-free zone. But here’s the funny part: the cat is soul-bonded to me. Imprinted. I’m…
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Series Recap: No Thank You!
Good grief, did someone install a fresh burial ground underneath Guaranteed Rate Field before the start of this one? Casually recite a few incantations from the Book of the Dead, perhaps? At any rate, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to conclude that the city of Chicago should no longer exist. Since we already talked about…
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PART 3/4: THE BASEBALL FOLKS WHO FIT OUR MODERN AND MORE INCLUSIVE DEFINITION OF ADOLESCENCE UNDER EMPLOY BY THE MARINERS AT THIS TIME, EVALUATED AND JUDGED!
OPEN WIDE FOR SOME PROSPECTS*! *prospect a subjective term what may constitute a prospect to this The Blog Of Record may not fit your definition. FRONTLINE TALENT GRADE: C SUPPORT TALENT GRADE: B- (See part 2). UPPER MINORS GRADE: C A revelation, a scouting favorite, and a whole lotta cope. LOWER MINORS GRADE: B Rowdy…
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SEASON PREVIEW PART 2/4: LOIN GIRDERS, THE MARINER SUPPORT.
Hi Sicko Deckie Faction! You made it through to the mid catalog! Maribertastic! Your reward is More Content, this time centered around what at the time of this writing, project to be the periphery of BigLeague Marineria. FRONTLINE TALENT GRADE: C (See part 1) SUPPORT TALENT GRADE: B- (This is the strength of the team.…
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An Exercise in Hostility
The Chicago White Sox and the Seattle Mariners played a baseball game last night. At least, that’s what the box score would tell you. What actually took place was something much weirder, and much more nefarious. By the time Tuesday’s series opener in Chicago wrapped up, we already knew that Wednesday’s storyline would revolve around…
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SEASON PREVIEW PART 1/4: THE VIEW FROM THE FRONTLINE
Hi Deckies! It’s your once quarterly pal Brian here! The state Poasting Board came through and stated we needed to do one post per year to renew our Failure In Analysis License in Washington State so dag nabbit, let’s get it over with and smile for the DMV camera. Here it is! The series nobody…
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