Good grief, did someone install a fresh burial ground underneath Guaranteed Rate Field before the start of this one? Casually recite a few incantations from the Book of the Dead, perhaps? At any rate, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to conclude that the city of Chicago should no longer exist.

Since we already talked about the sloppy mess on Wednesday night, I’ll keep this brief. Matt Brash may possibly burn too bright too fast but right now he is BURNING, baby. And boy does it feel good basking in the glow of his purging fire. Brash will make a lot of major league hitters look VERY silly this season. It’s too bad for him that on Tuesday, the offense still hadn’t figured out what it is that they do.

Fast forward to Thursday, and it’s not hard because the wind picked us up and carried us there. Kelenic doinked a dong off the foul pole, which opened up a magical portal for the Mariners to something called a “multi-run lead.” Things got tight when uh, some stuff happened in the infield thanks to hurricane force winds brought on by the aforementioned curse. The good news is it gifted us this fine work from photoshop/video editing wizard and all around good guy, @Zachleft.

We can laugh about it now, because the Mariners won. We would not laugh if they had lost, because losing is very bad and very serious. All in all, the M’s went 3-4 on a road trip to a meteorological nightmare zone against two playoff race-adjacent teams. They’ll need to better if they’re gonna like “end this #@!% drought” or whatever, but it’s a decent start with some real bright spots. Next up, the teal boys come home to kick off their first home stand against the American League baddies. See you on the other side, Sailor.