Category: Uncategorized
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All the Full Names We Gave to Ty France in 2021
Here is a list of all 40 different names we gave to Ty France during games this season. Enjoy. Tychalet Tymongous Tybootie Tyduerr Tystrongus Ty’Son Tymore Tygrown Tyjuule Tytube Tyjean Tychelle Tyvance Tydale Tyrillian Tylunch Tyboo Tyruille Tygrolphus Typatterson Tyburt Tystada Tychussetts Tycastamere Tyroulle Tydonk Tychillus Tysephus Tyruggs Tybrongius Tytanium Typhoon Tydal Tyrhon Tyberius Tylliard…
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The Plan.
Hi Deckies, it’s the October Sky On VHS and Worksheet Day portion of the blog here to get at ya again. YOWZA picked a bad month to have quit smoking for quite some time! Right! But in all seriousness, potentially it was how close the team was to mathematical elimination in mid-September which primed the…
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2021-2022 Offseason “Get Good Players” Tracker
Welcome to the first ever official Trident Deck Get Good Players Tracker! Whenever the Seattle Mariners acquire a good player, this page will update! It’s that simple. This cutting-edge technology will help you understand which of the team’s offseason moves are made in the spirit of the most important team-building strategy: “get good players.” Now…
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Ahead of Schedule
I had a meeting scheduled for 8 am this morning. I’ve been pushing this meeting back for weeks now, for reasons far too complex to detail here. Actually, to be clear, this meeting was originally supposed to be for the person previously in my position. So you can understand why there would be a little…
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A Broken Windshield
“There’s nothing we can do about it now. We just have to fix it and move on.” That’s what I just texted my wife this morning in reference to her car windshield that got hit by a small rock and ended up cracking. “It happened and there isn’t anything we can do to go back…
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So I Begin With the End in Mind
The Seattle Mariners, as they have found themselves many times in the last 26 years, are standing on the edge of something. Depending on who you ask and when you ask them, it could be a beginning, or an ending. A beginning of success. An end of futility. A beginning of new pain. An end…
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Donations and Dingers: A Recap of the Trident Deck Charity Wiffle Ball Home Run Derby
On Saturday September 18th, 16 brave souls and a smattering of familial onlookers gathered on a sloppy baseball field in the city of Kent, WA to experience the thrill of plastic-on-plastic power surges and friendly competition. An event two months in the making was finally actualized, and even the disgusting weather took a break out…
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The Trident is Good, Actually
Despite what you hear from conspiracy theorists, cowards, and superstitious minds, here’s what you need to remember about the trident logo: It’s good. Source: Me, and everyone else with a brain. There is no bias here, I promise.
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The Mariners Don’t Need a Scapegoat. They Need a Reckoning
The villain has been vanquished. There is no work left to do now, only celebration. The one and only enemy is gone. Rest now, child. And enjoy Mariners baseball tomorrow. That is the future the Seattle Mariners want. The fans and players have rallied together, and now the team desperately wants to rally around the…
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Mariners Apology Translator
In the aftermath of Kevin Mather lighting himself and the organization on fire, the team finally managed to release an official statement on Monday, via this clean-looking graphic. The statement is allegedly to be read in the voice of John Stanton. He said some words, and some of them presumably meant something. Parsing through official…
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