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BREAKING: Baseball Embraces The Bold Future! Bazinga!
Announced Thursday, the professional sports league formerly known as Major League Baseball will now be known as Major League Baseball Presented By BazingaBuxxxACurrencyForANewGeneration (MLBazingaBuxxx). Sources say that the final sticking point for BazingaBuxxx(A Currency For A New Generation) was the abbreviation shifting from MLB to MLBazingaBuxxx and insertion of “Buxxx” replacing “Flag” in the National […]
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We Have Players At Home: Self Scouting The 2021 Mariners Of Note
Howdy Deckies! Seen a lot of coveting thy neighbors dudes ‘round these pixelated parts and thought, hey, why not go in the opposite direction. With the impending “The Imminently Forgettable 1% Take Their Ball And Go Home,” looking to put a kibosh on those tasty, tasty yellow hot stove onions, it’s time to Take A […]
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Final Dude Watch Board of 2021
While the Dude Watch board updates were extremely irregular and altogether absent from the last couple months of the season (much to the dismay of some of you,) don’t doubt for a second that Dudes were still being tracked. Remember — the type of players you want on your team fall into tiers called guys, […]
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Rays $/fWAR Championship Parade Draws 0.000012 Million Fans
An estimated (fractional) million fans jammed downtown Tampa (or St Pete, it’s not actually Tampa; we’re not sure) on Tuesday for a parade celebrating the Tampa Bay Rays sixth $/fWAR title, clamoring for more with cheers of “We want seven!”, “Pivot This, Oakland!” and “Next year, right here, or Montreal, I guess!” A fiscally responsible […]
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All the Full Names We Gave to Ty France in 2021
Here is a list of all 40 different names we gave to Ty France during games this season. Enjoy. Tychalet Tymongous Tybootie Tyduerr Tystrongus Ty’Son Tymore Tygrown Tyjuule Tytube Tyjean Tychelle Tyvance Tydale Tyrillian Tylunch Tyboo Tyruille Tygrolphus Typatterson Tyburt Tystada Tychussetts Tycastamere Tyroulle Tydonk Tychillus Tysephus Tyruggs Tybrongius Tytanium Typhoon Tydal Tyrhon Tyberius Tylliard […]
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The Plan.
Hi Deckies, it’s the October Sky On VHS and Worksheet Day portion of the blog here to get at ya again. YOWZA picked a bad month to have quit smoking for quite some time! Right! But in all seriousness, potentially it was how close the team was to mathematical elimination in mid-September which primed the […]
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2021-2022 Offseason “Get Good Players” Tracker
Welcome to the first ever official Trident Deck Get Good Players Tracker! Whenever the Seattle Mariners acquire a good player, this page will update! It’s that simple. This cutting-edge technology will help you understand which of the team’s offseason moves are made in the spirit of the most important team-building strategy: “get good players.” Now […]
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Ahead of Schedule
I had a meeting scheduled for 8 am this morning. I’ve been pushing this meeting back for weeks now, for reasons far too complex to detail here. Actually, to be clear, this meeting was originally supposed to be for the person previously in my position. So you can understand why there would be a little […]
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A Broken Windshield
“There’s nothing we can do about it now. We just have to fix it and move on.” That’s what I just texted my wife this morning in reference to her car windshield that got hit by a small rock and ended up cracking. “It happened and there isn’t anything we can do to go back […]
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