A grand total of 377 plate appearances and 2.7 fWAR into his Mariners career, Austin Nola may look like just a guy at first glance, but he appears to definitely be A Dude. He plays multiple positions, one of which is a pretty decent catcher, and continues to rake at the plate with no sign of slowing down. That’s a valuable player on any type of team, but with multiple years left of sacred C L U B C O N T R O L he could be a nice anchor on a team that plans to transition from rebuild to contention in the near future.

Where we’re going we don’t need anchors, Sailor. Admiral Dipoto has jettisoned Nola. Operation: Have a Good Farm is full speed ahead.

Reports came out late Sunday afternoon that confirmed Austin Nola’s hug watch: he has been traded to the San Diego Padres. What for? For you to be patient, that’s what. You can wait a few more years to see a winner, you can wait a little longer to have fun while watching baseball, and you can wait a few more minutes to find out what prospect Seattle is pulling out of AJ Preller’s farm. Maybe instead of asking who is the prospect, we should be asking what is the prospect. The prospect of hope? The prospect of a good time? The prospect of endless discourse on the internet that will almost certainly be rewarding to absolutely no one? According to sources, the Mariners are getting all three. Jackpot. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the rebuild. It’s not going anywhere, Sailor.