The Mariners played their first intra-squad game of Summer Training on Friday afternoon, complete with team names that are slightly better than Mariners A and Mariners B.

In true Mariners fashion, the team could not even find a way to win against itself. Instead the two squads played to a 3-3 tie. This may be difficult for some to stomach, but a winning organization would have found a way for at least half of their split roster to come away with a win. One “team” just needs to score at least one more run than the other. It’s very simple!

Instead, the Mariners Divided decided to perform the baseball equivalent of agreeing to disagree. “Dearest Pilots, we are not worthy of this victory. We yield to you, our great opponents.” Au contraire, said the Steelheads. It is we who are unworthy. We take your yield and yield it back to you. It’s no wonder the team is so short on playoff appearances when this is the attitude that pervades the locker room.

As far as the game itself, the most important thing that happened is Kyle Lewis using that leg kick to great effect. Another important note about Friday’s contest is that both starting pitchers’ names begin with “Just.” (Look, it’s an intra-squad scrimmage in the middle of July, what else do you want here?)

All in all, it was a perfectly fine day at the ballpark. The Mariners were themselves. For those who are optimistic about a contention window opening in the near future, they should hope the team can remedy this allergy to winning as soon as possible.