A well-executed leg kick in the batter’s box can be one of the most aesthetically pleasing things to watch, especially if it results in a crushed baseball. It’s like watching a predator coil, muscles tightening, and then launch itself at unsuspecting prey with lethal accuracy. Not all leg kicks are created equal — Trevor Story’s is subtle; it gracefully swoops past home plate at low altitude, a surgical timing mechanism with deadly consequences for opposing pitchers. Josh Donaldson’s is efficient and violent, wasting no time doing what it must do to thrive.
And then there is the leg kick of Mariners outfielder Kyle Lewis. A majestic, arching thing of beauty. Part ninja, and part humpback-whale-breaching. It is fearsome. It is gorgeous. It is also extremely practical. You thought this leg kick was only useful on the diamond? Think again, Sailor. Today we are going to look at some other possible uses of the Kyle Lewis Leg Kick.
Stepping over poop
This one should be obvious. A safe, smooth way to keep the doo-doo off of your Jordans.
Smashing grapes for wine
Practical, and fun! This one really gives you time to wind up and crush those grapes so you can drink them later. Just remember to take your cleats off first.
First step onto the dance floor
The Drake slide or whatever starts up, and you enter the dance floor with one of these bad boys? Not only do you own the floor now, you own the night, my friend. You’ll be getting phone numbers from everybody in the club.
Make an annoying little dog go away
Let’s be clear: You are not going to kick the dog. But you are going to scare the dog, because you do want it to go away. Two “yip-yips” into her intimidation routine and little Precious sees this coming, she’s not gonna stick around to find out what’s next.
Continue avoiding the pile of laundry on your floor
“Someone else will do it,” you tell yourself. You live alone, your inner voice counters. “Someday I will have a friend or spouse,” you push back. Are you sure about that, your— you know what, you may also want to use this to step over your inner voice, who clearly needs to read the room.
Treading on that snake who told you not to do that
Up and around, then straight down. Pound that snake into the ground. He had it coming.
When you’re walking in the dark and you can’t remember if there’s one more step or if there are any steps at all, they might go up or down it is late and you cannot remember
Look, we’ve all been here. You don’t want to trip on a step you weren’t aware of, or have your foot fall what feels like six feet through the air when there’s one more step you forgot about. Just do a nice, slow Kyle Lewis, and you’ll be sure to intercept any lurking stairs comfortably.
There are countless other uses for this versatile move, which we do not have the time to detail here. In the meantime, practice practice practice, and let’s all watch Kyle use it to thwock a few dingers.