Tournament of Sadness: Day One Recap

Just an absolutely terrible time

While the day was not particularly dramatic in the first round for both the Trident and Marine Layer regions, it held one major upset. Some are calling it the biggest upset in Tournament of Sadness history. Let’s discuss that and the rest of the results from today’s action.

CLE 15, SEA 14 Takes Down 1 Seed

In a nail-biting and nearly controversial shocker, the memory of one of the most infamous games in Mariners history won out over decade-spanning ineptitude. While it is not the result many expected, it can be understood. “1977-1994” was ranked as the weakest 1 seed by many experts going into the tournament. Additionally, that fateful game in August of 2001 encapsulates some very real, raw pain for Mariners fans: even at the height of its power, this team can and will find a way to fall on its face.

Adam Jones Trade Cruises to Victory Over Randy Johnson Trade

In a duel of what-could-have-beens, the loss of a future 5-time All-Star was more painful to the people than moving on from an already elite pitcher on the verge of becoming a transcendent talent. The return in the Adams Jones trade is what really seals the deal here. The Erik Bedard era is shameful and embarrassing in every way.

Chone Figgins is Dependable, Defeats Griffey’s Broken Wrist

Everyone knew this was coming. A 3 seed with a great chance at a deep run, Chone Figgins has accomplished a level of loathsomeness in the hearts of Mariners fans that is nearly unrivaled.

The Astros’ Move In Moves Out

A little more impactful than a broken wrist, the trade of an all-time great still stings for many. The Astros likely have many more beatings in store for the Mariners, so consensus may change on this over time.

Haniger Squashed Once More

Poor Mitch really can’t catch a break. He and his boys had a less than ideal matchup against one of the strongest 1 seeds in the tournament. Sources say that after this loss he’ll be out another 6 weeks. The Longest Playoff Drought could be a juggernaut in the making.

The Mad Scientist Defeats the Monster

Jack Z helped to create the Jesus Montero we know, but also enjoys tearing him down to nothing whenever possible. Today was no different. Smile, Jesus. You’re free.

Game 161 Sends Mike Zunino to Tampa, Again

The most painful game of the decade won handily over our sweet Italian boy. Once again he tried his very best. He always does. Thank you, Mike. Someday you will be enough, for someone. Game 161 may have trouble making it past the second round but if so, it’s a shame. It’s one of the most exhilarating, awful experiences in Mariners history.

Ackley Obliterates Night Court

As quintessentially Mariners as Night Court was, it had no shot against Dustin Ackley. Many experts agree that going forward in this tournament, Ackley is Can’t Miss.

On Wednesday March 4th the Kingdome Region and Compass Rose Region will complete the results for round one. Voting begins at 8am.

One response to “Tournament of Sadness: Day One Recap”

  1. […] you haven’t read the recap of day 1 yet, click here. Are you back? Okay great. Let’s talk about the Kingdome Region and the Compass Rose region, […]


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