Mariners hitters showed up to camp today with one thing on their mind: absolutely killing some baseballs. And boy, did they. These baseballs had NO idea what hit them.

Watch what happens when this stupid, idiot baseball attempts to approach home plate at about 60 mph from the hand of a batting practice pitcher:

Julio Rodriguez said NOT TODAY, dumb ball! Complete ownage!! I’ve seen all I need to see to know we’ve got a perennial All-Star on our hands.

Jarred Kelenic was heard publicly calling out a baseball during his batting practice session. “Hey, you moronic thread-wrapped sphere!” He shouted. “You leather-bound dullard! Today you will debate me in the marketplace of ideas, and the idea is you getting launched over the fence!” The ball, clearly flustered, could not come up with a comeback. It left the batting practice pitcher’s hand at about 64 mph, traveling towards the middle part of the plate with no lateral movement whatsoever. Kelenic timed it up perfectly and just OBLITERATED it. I mean, this thing still hasn’t landed. EPIC WIN! What hope do opposing pitchers possibly have?

2021, here we come!